The Lame Chick

Six years ago, we walked away from the life we had built on our own. From the family we had created. I left behind some of the people I loved most in the world, the most nurturing work environment I had ever been a part of, and the only financial stability my existence had known. …

These thoughts from the notebook of a 17-year old me struck a chord today: “Most people don’t realize when they are happy. The average person sees happiness as a distant, unobtainable dream. They aren’t able to appreciate the little joys life blesses them with. It usually takes something of cosmic proportion to compel a person …

My Dad was born to be a father. He helped with homework, and encouraged our curiosity. He sang us to sleep, and told us stories. He rubbed our feet, and scratched our backs. He took us on adventures, and taught us to appreciate what we had. He didn’t let us go to bed angry, and …

Two years ago I was triggered into an episode that broke me. It shifted my psyche profoundly. I have spent the time since trying to work through the emotional mess it created. Most overwhelmingly though, it made me realize I don’t want to run from the full human experience any more. Keeping myself closed off …

As I sit on the eve of my 39th Birthday, I am pensive. Life continues to test my resolve. I have had several moments of intense frustration and sadness lately. I am tired. Tired of the struggle. Tired of the chaos. Tired of loss. Tired of disappointment. Tired of the emptiness. Tired of repairing my …

For me to truly evolve, I know I must let my foundation crack at the deepest level. I know it. I believe it. I feel it in my soul. I don’t know if I’m ready for it. The emotional curveballs have been unrelenting as of late. I mentally exhaust myself trying to ‘grow through what …

I’ve spent most of my life crippled by a fear that disguised itself as caution. It manifested and masqueraded in ways I’m only just beginning to understand. I could never trust anyone enough to let them in completely. On my deepest levels I never believed in pure intentions because my history had taught me otherwise. …

Half a lifetime ago. Just barely starting to scratch the surface of who I would become. Years away from confidence, from trust, from honesty. Still burying things so deeply they only manifested in my dreams. Always pretending to be happy. To be normal. To not need anyone. But not just pretending, desperately trying to convince …

I’ll be honest, I’m all kinds of restless lately. Mind, body, spirit. I’m working to heal myself through things I’ve struggled to face. Hurt that runs so deep I find myself unable to trust anyone or anything. Even when I am around the souls who lift me up, I feel myself being dragged down. It’s …