Author: Nikki Minarik

Your Girl has been going through it lately. On my deepest levels. The raw ugly shit we don’t like to face. Or deal with. Or talk about. The things that hold us captive, and inhibit our growth. The things that cause us to feel shame, or ridiculous, or uncomfortable. The cold hard truths, and disappointing …

March is the most difficult time of year for me…and it starts with today. 15 years since you left. 15 years since you entrusted a bullet to quiet the chaos plaguing you, to give you the peace you so desperately sought. I unraveled. And spiraled. I shifted perspective. I broke. And was never the same. …

When I was a little girl, the only certainty I felt about my future was uncertainty. I had daydreams and fantasies about how my life would play out, but they changed constantly. Deep in my soul, even as a child, I knew my existence would never be a normal one, so naturally that’s what I …

I’m having a bad day. It’s probably the worst day I’ve had in a long time. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. My bones ache. My heart aches. My soul aches. It’s the type of day that has me wanting to disappear completely. Slinking off to live a life of solitude on a scenic mountainside. Or drowning myself …

You would have been 58 today. Sometimes I wonder what life would look like if heroin hadn’t held you so firmly in it’s grip. The dreams that never came to fruition. The bad jokes and ridiculous impressions you had left to share. The support and guidance you would offer. You were never afraid to tell …

In an unprecedented year, gratitude has become more significant than ever. I have found myself appreciative of the most minute things, things I had taken for granted in the past. Big smiles. Warm hugs. Connection. I’ve developed a deeper compassion for the lives around me. There was no way to prepare for the effects the …

All these years later, the days following your suicide mostly remain a blur. My heart ached more deeply than I ever thought possible. I curled up on the bathroom floor and scribbled poems on tear-soaked paper until I exhausted myself to sleep. I buried my pain. I drank myself numb for a long time to …

Dear Friends, if you wouldn’t want it done to you, don’t do it to others. It really is that simple. This election isn’t about which candidate supports your interests. It’s about humanity. It’s about tolerance. It’s about standing up against injustice. It’s about protecting our fundamental rights as a human collective. I know compassion can …

Life has broken me in more ways than I would ever choose to remember. Sometimes it ignited growth. Sometimes it caused irreparable damage. Regardless of the outcome, it was all transformative. I am a product of my experiences…a collection of the good, the bad, and the chaos in-between. My full story still untold, a soul …