Original Livejournal post: 01/11/05
Music: *NSYNC – “I Drive Myself Crazy”
Post title: Projectile Vomiting
Today, I inhaled dust, and was gracious enough to spit it out of mouth, onto the floor at work. I still sense it, quietly festering, polluting every breath. Damn you to Hell, evil dust ball!
I am so incredibly tired.
I had to get up at 5 this morning, as to not repeat the events of the day before. This whole state crumbles when it rains. All of the roads were closed yesterday, which, of course, we didn’t know until it was too late. So, I was 45 minutes late.
Yippee.
I didn’t get to sleep until around 12, and woke up every hour until 5, with tsunami nightmares. I had those kinds of dreams before the tragedy, I just didn’t think anything of it then. I should probably be more concerned with mudslides though.
Have I mentioned how incredibly tired I am?
I was presented with an opportunity this weekend. I must admit, the thought of it excites me, but, I know how these things work out.. They don’t. I don’t want to psych myself up, just to be let down again. Few things break my heart more than disappointment, and my life is laced with disappointment. Go figure.
I got a Strawberry Shortcake tank-top over the weekend. Today I wore it to work with my red hoodie.. It says “DELICIOUS” around the breastal area..
Creepy Old Guy was giving me inappropriate looks all day.
Maybe I should wear the S. S-Cake underpants over my pants tomorrow.
“Sweeter Every Day” is written over the vaginal area.
I’d like to see the reaction to that.
How nice that I have negative nicknames for my co-workers already.
God Damn, I’m tired.
And.. I need a phone.
Money would be nice too.
I wish I could stop hiding.
For someone who has so much to say..
I speak with little substance.
I need to be more honest.
Maybe that should be my Resolution.
Honesty.
I should be more honest with you.
But, more importantly..
I should be more honest with myself.
It would be a lot easier, if I weren’t so fucking tired.
It would be a lot easier, if we weren’t constantly trapped in the car.
I miss having a home.
I miss having a life.
I miss having substance.
I have their love.
I have their approval.
I just wish it meant more.
I just wish it would fill the void.
I’m empty..
Inside, and out.
I suppose I should appreciate the balance.
At this point, I’d settle for the happy medium.
