If you’ve been following me for any amount of time, you know I’ve spoken at length about the bullying I’ve endured since childhood…that by age 12 it pushed me into a depression so deep, I contemplated suicide. About 2 months before my 13th Birthday, my parents moved us out of NYC, to Lancaster, PA. I was enrolled in the tiniest school I had ever seen, at the very end of 6th grade, with kids who had mostly all grown up together. I was shy, I was insecure, I was obese, I was taller than almost every other girl in the school, I had a deep voice, with a heavy Brooklyn accent. More than anything I wanted to be invisible, but I stood out like a sore thumb. A few were kind and at least introduced themselves, there were more who smiled to my face but whispered and laughed as they walked away, just loud enough for me to hear. And then there was Brandy, the badass-looking girl next to me in the dark sunglasses. She was the first person to genuinely make me feel welcomed, to offer me friendship. She had been the new girl not too long before I was and wanted to make sure I knew there was a place for me there. Her group of friends followed suit and helped usher me into the world outside the big city. We bonded over music, and books, and family. We marveled at our similarities, not only in physical appearance, but in the perceptions surrounding us. We looked tough. We sounded tough. But our toughness was primarily of spirit. We were both marshmallows at heart, overflowing with love. A couple weeks ago her mom posted asking for prayers for her, she’d been experiencing heart issues, and they were in search of treatment/help/hope. I sent everything I could into the universe, because even though our paths separated long ago, her impact on who I am, and how I survived is still felt today. I got online earlier to find that she passed away a few days ago. I haven’t cried that hard in a long time. To feel a loss that deeply, of someone decades removed from your life, speaks volumes to who she was as a person. As I dug through my old picture box for this Polaroid, I was overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude. I am grateful for her existence. For her friendship. For her being the warm welcome in a cold place. For teaching me how to play Tetris. For convincing me to read The Outsiders. For introducing me to the version of chili I still make today. For fixing my hair in homeroom. For making me laugh during yearbook. For always sticking up for me. For always having my back. For being a light. What a life. What a legacy to leave…a love, warmth, and kindness so transcendent, the impact is everlasting. 
