As I enter the final weeks of my 30s, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking of this girl. When she was in kindergarten, that was her favorite dress. It made her happy. She felt confident in it. She loved the colors. She loved the splattered paint effect. Her teacher selected a Student of the Month, and the winner would lay down on a big piece of brown paper, the outline of their body would be traced, and the class would draw on whatever clothing they were wearing that day. When she was selected, she chose this dress to wear. That was how she wanted to be remembered. Sweet. Fun. Colorful. I’ve given her that much all these years later. But outside of that, I feel like I’ve let her down. I pursued none of her dreams. I let go of her confidence. All she ever really wanted was to help as many people as possible and be loved for exactly who she is. I am facing 40, and just starting to learn how to love myself. How to fully express myself. How to truly love others, for the right reasons. I spent so much time begging for love from the wrong people, I still don’t know how to let others love me. I’m not sure I even believe that it’s possible yet. But I’m getting there, to where I need to be. Over the last couple years my personal growth has accelerated. I am not who I was, but I am who I was always meant to become. I’ve lost some of my most enduring relationships to my evolution, and I’ve had to. Anyone who truly loves you will encourage you into the best version of yourself, regardless of what it means for them. My hope for you, Dear Reader, is that you value yourself enough to BE yourself. Don’t settle. Keep growing. Keep evolving. Live out loud. Chase those dreams. Make those memories. Live a life that brings you joy, a life that your version of the little chubby-cheeked girl in pigtails and a paint-splattered sweater dress would be proud of. Cut the ties that hold you back. Time is fleeting, but it’s never too late to start. 
