For most of my life, I never truly knew myself. Many of the thoughts, opinions, and ideas I had about who I am, and how people perceive me, came from the mouths of others. I was told I was awkward. Weird. My voice was too deep. I was too tall. Fat. Ugly. I was too quiet. I was too nice. I was too smart. I looked mean. I was intimidating. Too soft-spoken. My writing style was too disjointed, it wasn’t financially viable. In a different body, I would be the perfect girl. My expectations of people are too high. I’m bossy. I’m too outspoken. I’m too emotional. I’m too sad. I talk too much. I’m too open with my feelings. I worry too much. I overthink. I see the worst in people. I see the best in people. I love too deeply. No one would ever love me.
I heard it all.
I felt it all.
I believed it all.
I wish someone would have pulled me aside when I was younger and said: Who fucking cares? There are billions of people on the planet, and every single one of them will have an opinion. We all have different tastes, you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. But when you come across your people, they will savor every last drop. You will pour your time, love, and energy into people who will never do the same for you. And they weren’t meant to. You will make bad choices in love, but they will help you make better choices later on. You don’t have to fit any mold. You don’t have to be like everyone else. You will be disappointed. You will be heartbroken. You will heal. You will grow. You will fall. And you will rise. You don’t owe anyone a spot in your life, a say in your life, or control over your life. Your happiness belongs to you, and no one gets to tell you what that should look like. You will never outgrow your awkwardness. And that’s okay. People will always call you weird for being your own person, speaking your mind, and following your heart. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for exactly who you are. They may be few and far between at times, but they’re worth the wait. Cut out the noise, and find yourself. Wear it proudly. Live YOUR life. 🖤
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