I’ll be honest, I’m all kinds of restless lately. Mind, body, spirit. I’m working to heal myself through things I’ve struggled to face. Hurt that runs so deep I find myself unable to trust anyone or anything. Even when I am around the souls who lift me up, I feel myself being dragged down. It’s a constant battle, and it’s exhausting. My instinct is to run, it always has been. It’s how my parents dealt, it’s how they coped…they didn’t. Avoidance. Denial. Suppression. I’ve been fighting so desperately to break the cycle, I’ve burned myself out. In embracing the chaos, I’ve forgotten peace. In failure, and devastation, and heartbreak, my wheels are spinning, but there is no tangible progress. I’m stuck, but somehow I know that I’m still breaking through. That inner voice urging me to give up because all hope is lost, is just pushing me forward. Through the sadness, and darkness, and harsh realities. The fight has become for survival. For peace. For healing. Somewhere deep down I still believe it’s worth it, even if I’m finding it difficult to believe in anything else…I have to believe in myself. You are loved. You are enough. You are worth the fight. 🖤
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