‘Standing at the edge of hopelessness. Light is fading fast. Daunted by the path ahead. Mostly convinced the destination has remained unchanged, regardless of the twisted journey. Inner chaos is forever. There will never be peace. Happiness isn’t for you. Others grow from your pain. Nurtured by your experience. Encouraged by your survival. Servitude is your purpose, your only existence. You have no real significance as a person. Give in. Let go. Be free.’
When my depression spikes, these thoughts flood me. Tears stream from my unblinking eyes as I stare into the future my darkness paints before me. Steady streams of blood into eternal stillness. There is nothing. No pain. No tears. No heartache. No insecurity. Nothing. No joy. No laughter. No fulfillment. No gratitude. No smiles that warm the heart. No views that take your breath away. No connections that ignite your soul. No love. That’s what it takes for me, since I was a child, memories of what I cherish most in life. A reminder that whatever sadness I may be feeling is only temporary. It may be different for you. Maybe it’s talking to a friend, or therapist. Maybe it’s medication. Or meditation. Or music. Whatever it takes to remind you that this life is worth living, do it. No one is perfect. We all struggle. We all have obstacles. We all have moments of weakness. But we can’t forget the moments of triumph. We can’t forget the obstacles overcome. We can’t forget that we have already survived all the things we never thought we could. That is victory. Celebrate it. And when you make it through whatever currently has you down, celebrate that too. I know I will. Hold on. Reach out. Always keep fighting. 🖤
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